Almost 2 years

Can't believe its been almost 2 years since I have come here, poured out what was on my mind and shared thoughts.
Crazy
I checked in my drafts and I apparently started an entry entitled "Wedding nightmares" just over a year ago.
Which I find a little strange as around that time my entire life changed.
Why did it change? Because I needed it to.
I can't possibly go through explaining the entire past 2 years of my life, but only the last is of any interest but still... too much to type out, too much went on.

The Coles notes version though would go something like this.
Supposed to get married in September of 2013, thought I had it all figured out. Get married and live happily ever after right?
No, not so much.
Instead, lets start that year mid break up. I had had enough, enough lies, enough immaturity, enough games, enough lack of respect, enough being taken for granted, just plain enough of it all.

Fast forward a few months, ex still wont leave my house, squatting on my couch. So I stop coming home all together. Fuck it, if he insists on staying, I will be there as little as possible.
Thankfully met the man of my dreams, didn't know it at the time, but my life was about to take a turn for normal.
Well, almost.
So, bunch of lawyer crap, sell my house, pay out ex, move in to new boyfriends house that is also for sale, buy a new house, get laid off work for the winter, get keys for new house, move in and bam its Christmas and New Years and here we are today.

Ok so that was a shitty version of Coles notes on my past year. I have left out borderline harassment, threats, ex going through countless girlfriends since me, coming to view new boyfriends house the week before I moved out into my new place and so on, why? Because I just don't want anything to do with that anymore. I have lived through it, it was a hard climb to get out of that rut I was in, but all the headaches, stress, heartache, anxiety, panic, you name it, was worth it 100 times over again to be where I am.

Where am I now you ask?

I finally have my acreage I have always wanted, 150 acres to be exact, a nice enough house with loads of potential, just minutes from camp where I would always take the dogs for some peace and relaxation, living with a very supportive, caring, loving and affectionate guy I just can't get enough of even after all we have gone through to get where we are.

Other than that how has my life changed?

Well I have grown as a person I think, I have learned to take time to appreciate the little things in life, stop focusing on what I don't have and focus on what I do have and live every second of every day.
I have also learned that sometimes its ok to say you can't do it, seek out help from family and friends, cry on someones shoulder should you need to, say what is really in your heart and mind. You don't always have to appear strong, its ok to show weakness, its ok to show your imperfections to those who understand you and care about you. Also, I have learned that no matter what weekend I am moving, a lot of people have a lot of plans or random viruses HAHAHA
All kidding aside though, through the past year I have realized who is really there beside me when I don't even realize I need them.
Its a lot smaller of a crowd than I originally thought. Some of my "better" friends I couldn't see there. It was heart breaking but made me understand far more about me and my life than I thought.

 I still very much care for those friends, they are still what I would consider my better friends, but I know where I stand a little more in their lives. Which is ok, I have discovered that family is far more important anyway.

In the clouds from the rubble that was my life for 12 years and everything that happened though I was very surprised at who was there. I mean, I always considered Amanda a good friend, I didn't realize how good of a friend though. Her and Jack were there to help me move out of the house, that they purchased from me, they have my Sir Viggo horse there still, she has listened or read various of my minor melt downs via text messages over the past year and kept right on being there, offering advice, just listening... There were others that were there too, but that was really the one that was most surprising.
I'm super grateful to have both her and Jack as friends.

So, I'll end that there for now, I'm pretty tired of this computer freezing up on me as I type due to various things that are downloading and it being a bit of an older Mac. I hope to keep this blog up, I say it a lot here lol.
I was going to start a new one but figured, why? This is still my strange world after all. Just a new chapter.

Take care all.