Well that was a short break... he's already home. I tried talking some sence into him about if he stayed atleast the full day today at work he would have more hours and hence a bigger pay check, but nope... I have to be "guarded" or "babysat" or what ever the fuck he insists on doing.

While he is off enjoying his "holidays" and working as few hours as possible, I am busting my ass off and putting in over time when ever I see a chance to, to attempt to keep a good cash flow coming in. I guess he doesnt fucking care because he doesnt have the slightests damn clue how much money has to be raked out around here.

He bitches about paying my car payment... whoppdy fucking dooo. Not all $515 of it! Oh and this on top of his $150 bike payment. Yup, definately going to bankrupt him. ( if he doesnt start working seriously again)

Christ by the time i pay the phone, internet, couch payment, car insurance, loan payment, hydro, rent AND the groceries ( including animal food ) Its fucking amazing I can scrounge up a few extra bucks to "splurge" and buy some things for myself.

Speaking of which, I feel guilty now that I went wild at Winners of all fucking places and baught amost $100 of bra's and undies. ( I was in dire need) I also picked up a really cute top, i like it and its WAY not my style. Perhaps its time to change "my" style anyways.

I was trying my new stuff on when I got home, and he pulled in literally 5 minutes after me, he walks in the house and see's my new shirt and fancy dancy "push the gurls up" bra and rudely asks me " whats the occasion??? Am I interupting some plans?" ( He always seems to think I have wild plans and adventures when he is gone *rolls eyes*)

AURGH! No dumbass, I just figured because you had gone back to work I could purchase a little something for myself, you know to boost my self image *sigh*.

Always alterior motives with him, if I do something for MYSELF its definately because I am up to something.

He's definately going to freak out when I join the Gym this fall.... lol, I want to lose some weight and tone some things up, in his eyes its definately going to be for "someone". Honestly its for me.

When ever I go on a health food kick, he is VERY quick to come home with all sorts of "presents" for me. You know the kind.... your favorite cheese ( that he is usually way to fucking cheap to buy) some chips ( salt is my weakness) and not to mention, donuts ( thank god I dont really like them much)

I swear sometimes he wants to keep me fat so I will never be attractive to others or something. How bad is that, that I feel this way??

I think I am seriously pms ing.... Havent had the urge to dig into any chocolate lately ( I dont like chocolate) so maybe its just pure frustration and annoyance.

Since he "welcomed himself" home so fucking rudely I started sweeping the floor ( its my thing) and he looks at me and sais " well I dont want to argue, im going to camp to go fishing." He made damn sure to take the bike so I wouldnt suggest he takes HIS dog or anything like that...

WOW, im really pissed off today.

Perhaps I need some good wine ( and I have plenty of that) a good "book" and a bubble bath or something... however that would get misconstrued into me trying to impress someone else as well.

Im not going to keep on with my rant, im sure many of you have already stopped reading lol..

End quote.

“When angry, count to four, When very angry, swear" ~Mark Twain

LOL, shows how angry I am.