Stupid internet

My accelerator hasn't been working for the past few days, thats why no blogging.
All seems to be well now in Netscape land so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Next week I am doing a voluntary run to Blind River for work, I need a mini vaca from my office, and not to NorthBay either.
Should be fun, haven't been there in close to a year.

I'm SO tired right now and I really want to go to the gym to work out but there is no friggen way I can muster the energy up, perhaps tomorrow.
Yesterday was a bizarre day, seems like I talked to several people who I haven't heard from in months - well over a year. Nice to catch up like that. Its always such a surprise to have unexpected phone calls or see someone on MSN that hasn't been there for evah.

In one convo yesterday, I came to the conclusion that I must accept that the past me is no longer. It's just not possible to try to have fun like you did back in the day. I also figured out why I miss "past me" so much. Not because I was carefree, and lived every moment to the fullest, but its like a best friend that has died. I miss them (although I am still talking about me) I just have to be careful on my "warpath" to create a new fun me though. As you can see my head is messing with me again... bastid!

On another note about yesterday, I stopped by an old friends for a bit to shoot the shit and what not and I heard some stuff about people from that area of my past that really has my head twirling too. Some are doing really well for themselves, and I am so happy for them, I honestly secretly never thought much would amount of them at the time. But good jobs, families and grown up responsibilities now totally had me baffled (especially in one situation)

I guess I could sum up that yesterday was the day to walk down every memory lane I have from the past 10+ years. It is nice to do that sometimes, but then you start the thoughts of "what if things turned out different" and fun stuff like that. Perhaps yesterday was just a few too many memory lane walks for one day... I don't know.

Dont get me wrong, I am SO grateful for everything I have now and honestly if I had stayed on the paths I was walking with those memories, I definately would not be here, not saying that things would have been for the worst, in some cases I think it could have been for the better. But that didn't happen, my life happened. Who I am and what I do NOW is what happened. I don't look forward to my next recap of the past 10 years. I am excited for it, the next 10 that is, but I just really hope I make better choices.

Oh well, this blog is going no where fast and I am starting to type myself into a corner. (Stupid brain wants to say more, but my fingers are disconnected from thoughts really coming up)

Take care all, hope you are all doing better mentally than I am lol

Summary:
- A whole lot of nuttin... honestly wont be offended if you dont reply to this at all, I am sure you are sitting there scritchin your head too now :D